Self-Criticism and Inner Conflict

Intrapersonal conflict is a situation where different parts of the personality are in conflict: desires collide with duty, needs — with prohibitions, feelings-with internal criticism.

A person feels that they cannot afford to live in accordance with their real needs. Instead of flexibility, there is constant pressure on yourself. Instead of a support — an internal overseer.

This state may not have an outwardly noticeable expression, but inside it is accompanied by a feeling of tension, fatigue from oneself, and the inability to “just live”.

There is a feeling that no matter how hard you try — it’s still not enough, all the time ‘wrong’, ‘did not reach’, ‘you can not relax’.

Possible manifestations

Physical properties:

• muscle clamps (especially in the neck, shoulders, jaw)
• chronic tension for no apparent reason
• feeling of stiffness in the body
• difficulty breathing (shallow, shallow)
• physical fatigue caused by external ‘activity’

Emotional ones:

• feeling guilty for showing weakness or rest
• annoyance at yourself for any ‘ mistakes”
• internal devaluation of achievements
• inability to feel proud or satisfied
• depressed mood, feeling of a ‘vicious circle’

Behavioral issues:

• perfectionism, hypercontrol
• high anxiety in decision making
• delayed actions due to the fear of ‘ doing something wrong”
• ‘dips’ in activity — when there is no strength, but rest does not bring relief
• lack of contact with real desires and needs

How to work with it

Therapeutic work is aimed at:

• awareness of conflicting internal parts and structures
• creating an integrated, coordinated internal space
• developing self-compassion and a benevolent internal dialogue
• work with an internal critic and transform rigid attitudes
• restoring contact with authentic desires, values, and feelings

If necessary, as in other areas, I can recommend consulting a doctor (psychiatrist, endocrinologist, etc.) to exclude organic causes of increased internal tension and sudden changes in the state.