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Perfectionism: Ally or Enemy?

When Striving for the Ideal Helps

Perfectionism isn’t always bad. In its healthy form, it helps you:

  • Achieve goals
  • Pay attention to details
  • Grow and learn

This kind of “healthy perfectionism” is motivating.

When Perfectionism Becomes the Enemy

The problem arises when striving for the ideal turns into a rigid demand: “Either perfect, or not at all.”

Signs of unhealthy perfectionism:

  • Fear of making a mistake feels paralyzing
  • Work is endlessly postponed (“It’s not ready yet”)
  • Any achievement is dismissed (“It could’ve been better”)
  • A sense of exhaustion and dissatisfaction, even when the result is objectively good

Why This Happens

The roots of perfectionism often go back to childhood: parental expectations, fear of being punished or rejected for “poor” work. Over time, this belief turns into an inner overseer.

How to Find Balance

  1. Distinguish: Where is quality truly important, and where can I let go?
  2. Learn to finish tasks, even if they’re not perfect
  3. Ask yourself: “If my friend did it this way, would I say it’s bad?”
  4. Notice progress, not only the end result

What Therapy Provides

In sessions, we explore where perfectionism helps and where it harms. We learn to build new strategies: keeping high standards where they matter, but not letting them turn into tyranny.

This usually takes several sessions, because it’s important to change not only habits but also deep-seated beliefs.

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Marina Zinland

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