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The Inner Critic: How to Make Peace With It
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Who Is the Inner Critic
It’s that inner voice that says:
- “You didn’t do enough.”
- “Others are better.”
- “Something is wrong with you.”
Sometimes the critic is useful: it helps you stay attentive and strive for growth.
But when it becomes too dominant, it turns into an inner tyrant.
Signs Your Critic Is Out of Control
- Constant feelings of guilt or shame
- Inability to enjoy your own achievements
- The sense that “no matter what I do, it’s never enough”
How to “Negotiate” With the Critic
- Notice Its Voice
- Differentiate: it’s not “I’m bad” but “my critic is speaking right now.”
- Give It a Name or an Image
- Imagine it as a character: a “strict teacher,” an “inner prosecutor.”
- This makes it easier not to merge with it.
- Redirect Criticism Into a Question
- Instead of “You ruined everything” → “What can I improve next time?”
The critic becomes an advisor instead of an executioner.
- Instead of “You ruined everything” → “What can I improve next time?”
- Add a Voice of Support
- Ask yourself: “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
Then try saying it to yourself.
This practice, rooted in compassion-focused therapy, reduces harsh self-criticism.
- Ask yourself: “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
Why It Matters
When the critic stops being the dominant inner voice, you gain more energy, joy, and confidence.
What Therapy Provides
In sessions, we learn to recognize the inner critic, trace its roots, and create a balance between high standards and self-support.
This usually takes several sessions, because these inner voices have been forming for years — but gradually, they can shift toward kindness.
